ADHD Parent Burnout
Overwhelmed, exhausted, burnt out.
This is the typical life and challenges of a parent who has a child with ADHD. All parents feel stressed at times, but when it turns into you feeling emotionally exhausted and like you don’t enjoy spending time with your child anymore, that’s how you know you’re on the verge of burnout.
Why You’re Burnt Out
Being a parent of a child with ADHD means you have twice the appointments, twice the school visits, and more things to manage. You also might be constantly worried about your child’s safety because of their impulsivity, and this requires even more parenting attention than usual.
This struggle is real. If you’re unsure of if your child has ADHD but feel like you are constantly having to do so much when it comes to parenting, I hear you. You might not know why things have been so challenging as a parent, but you know this isn’t what you thought parenting would be like.
Healing From Burnout
I wish I could say there was an easy fix for burnout when it comes to parenting. There’s not. And most of what you see online or on TV is to take a bubble bath and have a glass of wine to relax. I’ll just say this is a bandaid that isn’t going to fix burnout in the long run.
Healing burnout is much more about finding ways to conserve your energy and surrounding yourself with those who you feel best around. Here’s how you can do that:
Set boundaries with family members and friends who judge your parenting abilities. This might mean limiting your time around them or not discussing your child with them.
Lean on those who can support you. Everyone needs a community of people who know what they’re going through, because parenting a child with ADHD can feel really lonely sometimes. Reach out to those who get you, and let them know the challenges you’re facing.
When you are having challenging thoughts about yourself as a parent, take a step back and think, “I’m having a thought that I’m not a good parent.” Thoughts are not facts, and we can question the thoughts that we’re having. Think about the reasons why this thought might not be true (e.g., I provided for my child love and food today).
It Takes Time
It took time to get to the point of burnout, so it will take some time to get out of it. The most important thing you can offer yourself is self-compassion. Validate that what you are going through is hard. If you are having a bad day, and get down on yourself for having a bad day, it’s only going to make things worse. Instead, let yourself sit with those uncomfortable feelings and continue practicing your game plan of getting out of burnout.
Sometimes it takes more support than what you have in your community to know how to get out of burnout. This happens to a lot of parents who are overwhelmed and tired.
You may need more individualized support to come up with a plan for parenting. If you’d like more individualized support, try my ADHD Program’s self-study option for a start!
