Common Pitfalls As An ADHD Parent
Every parent makes mistakes when raising their kids.
Mistakes are a normal process of learning how to become the best parent you can be. When it comes to raising kids with ADHD, it often require a different set of skills as a parent.
You may have even tried a lot of the typical parenting skills with your other kids, but then noticed they don’t work with your child with ADHD. It’s not your fault that the skills you were taught to try weren’t made for kids with ADHD.
A lot of the times, it takes some trial and error and support to find the most effective strategies. Here are some of the most common mistakes I see parents making when they first join my group coaching program:
Not offering enough positive feedback and instead focusing on giving correction for behaviors
Using too severe of consequences (e.g., taking away a privilege for an entire week)
Reasoning and talking through behaviors in an effort to change their behaviors
Only giving rewards for big things or making rewards contingent on a long streak of good behavior (e.g., a week)
Relying mostly on consequences rather than on positive reinforcement strategies. While consequences do have their place, kids with ADHD are more likely to respond negatively to them and they don’t work as well on changing kid’s behaviors.
It’s normal to have tried these strategies. Sometimes when you are at the end of a long day, it’s hard to find behaviors to reward and instead you may want to move towards consequences as the quickest strategy to use.
Shifting away from these common parenting strategies can be really difficult to learn. It can feel as if you are grasping for straws and nothing is working. One of the best ways to change patterns of your behavior as a parent is to start with something small.
The first strategy I recommend for parents to use which is specific praise, as a way to focus more on changing their child’s behaviors with positive correction. To use praise effectively, you will want to identify one behavior that is most important to you and praise your child every time you see that behavior or attempts to make that behavior.
By focusing on making these small changes, they can change the way you interact with your child and your relationship.
