Why is My Child Lying? Understanding Why Kids Are Dishonest and What To Do About It

It could be argued that all of us tell little white lies now and then.

But, if you have a child, you’ve probably noticed that they tend to stretch the truth or flip it around quite often. 

Kids are often inherently dishonest, and that can be frustrating, overwhelming, and even scary for a parent.

After all, you want your child to go out into the world and be truthful with others.

Thankfully, you’re likely not raising someone who will end up being dishonest by nature.

If you’re concerned about your child’s lying, take a deep breath.

Let’s take a closer look at why kids are dishonest, and what you can do about it from an early age. 

1. Testing Limits

Everything is new for kids. They’re learning every day, and that includes figuring out just how far they can go before getting into trouble.

• Some children lie to test limits and boundaries at home.

• They might let curiosity get the best of them, and they lie simply to see what will happen. 

You can use this as an opportunity to talk about telling the truth, and to stand firm in the boundaries you set.

• It’s up to you to determine what kind of discipline you’ll enforce when it comes to lying, but if your child is using it as a way to push boundaries, you might have to push back to set the standard for your home. 
  

2. Wild Imaginations

Lying isn’t always a nefarious act. Some kids lie because they have vivid, expansive imaginations.

• Maybe the line between reality and fantasy is blurred for them, and they don’t see the problem in bringing their fantasy world into the real world. 

• You don’t want to squash your child’s imagination. It’s important to let them play, explore, and dream.

But, make sure they know how to walk that line between fantasy and reality, and how important it is to keep the things they say realistic and true. 

3. Underlying Issues

Sometimes, children lie because there are more serious issues going on.

• If your child is dealing with low self-esteem, for example, they might lie to other kids to seem “cooler” or to fit in.

• If they’re dealing with anxiety or depression, they might even lie about their true feelings so they don’t worry anyone else. 

• Children can even lie due to stress.

As an adult, you know how difficult life can be when you’re overwhelmed.

It’s easy to say things you might not necessarily mean. Children are no different. 

What can you do?

If your child is lying frequently, the first thing you should do is determine why.

• Do they tend to lie about something specific or is it random?

  • Using some of the suggestions here, it should be easier to determine where their lies stem from and why they keep happening. 

• Stay calm and reinforce honesty.

  • Talk about the importance of being truthful, and some of the potential consequences that can come from lying.

  • Always give your child a chance to tell the truth and make things right if they’ve lied about something, and make sure to praise them when they do come clean.

  • They’ll start to associate telling the truth with positive feelings, and will be more likely to do it from the start. 

If your child continues to lie and you’re having a hard time figuring out why, don’t feel like you have to tackle the problem alone.

Therapy can be a great solution for kids, especially if they’re struggling with anxiety, depression, or low self-esteem.

Feel free to contact me for more information or to set up an appointment soon, and take comfort in knowing you can get to the bottom of this issue quickly.