Are You Enabling Your Child’s Anxiety?

As a parent, it can be difficult to see your child struggle with anything.

It’s even harder to think that they might be dealing with a mental health issue at such a young age.

Unfortunately, many children do deal with anxiety, which can cause everything from feelings of fear to trouble sleeping or even physical symptoms like stomach issues or aches and pains.

It’s normal to want to help your child and provide them with as much comfort and reassurance as possible.

But there’s a chance you might be doing more harm than good.

Even if you have the best of intentions, you could be enabling your child’s anxiety rather than helping them work through it.

How can you tell if you’re enabling, and what can you do instead to support them?

1. Avoidance

Again, you might think you protect your child by shielding them from uncomfortable situations or challenges, but you’re likely fueling their anxiety.

Kids learn by doing, and they have to understand that they’ll face situations they don’t always like.

Helping them avoid those situations hinders their ability to understand that even when things are difficult, they can handle it.

It’s also not easy to see your child experience disappointment, but it’s a part of life.

• Instead of shielding your child from potential failures, use those situations as learning experiences for your kids.

• After they’ve worked through challenges, reassure them that they can do hard things and get up again and move forward.
  

2. Stepping in and Speaking up

It’s important to allow your child to speak for themselves.

You can guide and support them, and you can even let them know it’s okay to share.

• But speaking for them — especially regarding their thoughts and feelings — will hinder their ability to speak up for themselves throughout life.

• As they get older, they might not know how to express themselves in healthy ways.

• Or, they might be too shy and timid to share their thoughts, leading to even more anxiety.

Allow them to express themselves early on, and they’ll be more confident and less anxious.

3. Inconsistency

While children might not always seem to like rules, they’re extremely important.

Kids need structure to feel secure.

Your child should have a strong understanding of the rules of your household. It’s your job as a parent or caregiver to keep those rules consistent.

• If your child breaks a rule or crosses a boundary, there has to be an appropriate consequence.

• Don’t be inconsistent with these consequences, as that can lead to confusion and worry.

• Healthy consequences will help your child understand that they can rely on the same thing each time, even if they don’t necessarily like the outcome.
  

4. How to Support Your Child’s Anxiety

It’s possible to help your child work through their anxiety without enabling them.

• Start by validating their feelings Let them know that their fears and concerns matter, and they shouldn’t feel they have to ignore or push them down

• From there, work on helping them find healthy ways to cope.

Things like deep breathing exercises, mindfulness, or even the 3-3-3 rule can be useful tools for kids to keep them from spiraling when they’re especially anxious.

These techniques can also help your child realize they can do the challenging things they’re afraid of without you handling it for them.

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If you find that your child is still struggling and you don’t want to enable their anxiety, consider reaching out to a mental health professional.

Therapy can help your child understand what their anxiety really is and where it comes from while teaching them helpful strategies to overcome it.

Feel free to contact me today for more information or to set up an appointment.