How to Stay Calm During a Tantrum

As a parent, you will likely experience your fair share of temper tantrums.

Young children throw “fits” for a variety of reasons, from not getting what they want to simply not wanting to follow the rules or listen to what you have to say.

While tantrums are bound to happen, they never really get easier to deal with. It’s difficult to see and hear your child yell, get angry, and possibly throw things, hit, or kick.

It’s your job to help them work through those tantrums.

Most of the time, they’re acting out because they don’t understand how to process their emotions any other way.

But that can be difficult for you to do when you’re frustrated and having a hard time staying calm.

Thankfully, there are strategies you can use to keep your cool during a tantrum.

The calmer you are, the easier it will be to calm your child and work things out.

Let’s cover a few of those strategies.

Avoid Giving in to Anger

If your child is angry and yelling or physically acting out, it’s easy to want to respond with anger of your own.

It’s also very easy to let frustration or even embarrassment turn into anger.

But there’s no sense in getting into a yelling match with a child. It will only escalate the situation and leave you feeling worse.

• Take a few deep breaths instead of trying to reason with your child through anger.

• Count to ten.

• If you feel like you might say something out of anger, consciously take a minute to de-escalate your thoughts and feelings before speaking.
  

Be Mindful

It’s understandable to have negative thoughts when your child throws a tantrum.

Take those thoughts captive and choose to practice mindfulness.

• Mindfulness allows you to be grounded in the present.

• You can focus all of your energy and attention on why your child is acting out and what you can do to calmly and effectively help them.

• Mindfulness is great for stress relief and can help you move forward with clarity.
  

Distract Your Child (and Yourself!)

It’s not uncommon for a tantrum to keep going simply because your child doesn’t know how to regulate their emotions.

While you can’t change that for them, you can help them calm down faster by distracting them from the tantrum.

• Try something like reading from a book to get their attention.

• Or, sometimes, a simple change of location can make a difference.

• Anything that breaks up the negativity and overwhelming nature of the tantrum will be good for you and your child.
  

Offer Reassurance

Trying to comfort your child when struggling to stay calm can be a challenge.

But it’s one of the best things you can do for both of you.

• Stay close to them and let them know you’re there for them.

• Keep eye contact as much as possible, and offer reassuring words.

• Again, most of the time, your child isn’t throwing a tantrum to make your life difficult.

They don’t fully know how to understand or process the emotions they’re feeling.

So, they let things out in the only way they can.

It’s frustrating for both of you. But, providing comfort and reassurance and letting them know they are safe can de-escalate things quickly and keep you from feeling overwhelmed.

—

If you’re still struggling to stay calm during tantrums, consider talking to someone.

Therapy can help you with strategies to alleviate stress and control your frustrations, even in difficult situations.

Feel free to contact us for more information or to set up an appointment soon so you can work with your child on managing their emotions without feeling like your own are spiraling out of control.