Signs of Separation Anxiety in Children

It’s not uncommon for children to want to be with their parents or caregivers all of the time. If you’ve ever seen a child dropped off at daycare or school, they might not want to let go or get out of the car. Or, they might want you to come back for just one more hug. 

But, there’s a difference between the normal desire to stay with a caregiver and separation anxiety. 

Separation anxiety in children is an extreme fear your child exhibits when they have to be apart from you. It can be heartbreaking to witness and difficult to understand. 

So, what are some of the common signs of separation anxiety in children? 

What Causes Separation Anxiety?

Before looking at the signs and symptoms, it’s important to look at what your child might have experienced throughout their short life. Several factors can contribute to this type of anxiety — many of which can occur at a very young age. 

A traumatic experience can contribute to separation anxiety. That includes a divorce, an illness, or even the death of a close family member. These types of experiences can cause your child to feel as though they’ve lost something important, so they want to hold on tighter to what they do have. 

Anxiety can also be inherited. If you or your partner struggles with it, your child might be more susceptible to it. You can help them from an early age by being a healthy role model when it comes to your mental health and by validating them in their emotions. 

Sleep Problems

One of the most notable issues you’re likely to see if your child has separation anxiety is difficulty sleeping. While kids experience nightmares on occasion, it’s far more common in children who are dealing with separation anxiety. 

Their constant nightmares are often very vivid and are usually about people they love or specific situations in which those people aren’t there. 

Your child might also not want to sleep alone at night. This can be because of the nightmares, or their anxiety might cause them to think that you won’t be there when they wake up. 

Extreme Worry

When your child is awake, the fear of being left alone doesn’t subside when they have separation anxiety. They might consistently express fears and doubts about you leaving them or them being scared of losing you. 

This fear can be expressed in different ways, especially if your child feels like they aren’t being heard or understood. It’s not uncommon for children with separation anxiety to have temper tantrums. They might be having a hard time understanding how to process and express their emotions. 

Physical Symptoms

Separation anxiety is a mental health condition. But, it can be so extreme for some children that it manifests itself through physical issues. Children can experience headaches or stomachaches as a result of their anxiety. Obviously, other things can cause these symptoms as well. But, if you notice your child starting to complain about aches and pains or feeling sick all of the time, don’t count out anxiety. 

What Can You Do?

It’s important to support your child. Reassure them as often as possible that even if you have to be apart sometimes, they aren’t alone, and you’ll always return. Make sure their feelings are validated while reminding them that they don’t have to be scared about you leaving or getting lost. 

Getting to the root of your child’s separation anxiety is often the best way for them to learn how to manage it. Consider setting up an appointment with a therapist. Therapy will help your child better understand what’s causing them to be so scared. It will also give them helpful skills they can use to fight back against those anxious thoughts and eventually overcome separation anxiety.